The way we attach ourselves in a relationship matters in determining the health of the relationship. Each person has their individual attachment style. Be it anxious attachment or secure attachment, the relationship depends heavily on the way we choose to get attached. The attachment style further determines our behavioural pattern and thought pattern in the relationship as well. “Anxious attachment can strongly impact our ability to connect and form a long-term bond. f you identify with having Anxious Attachment, or are in a relationship with someone who does, you can heal and move into a sense of security,” wrote Relationship Specialist Rose Viggiano. Here are a few ways by which anxious attachment may stop us from having a successful relationship.
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We require daily contact with someone we have just met: While initially it may be nice to keep in touch, it can also start to feel frustrating and tiring for the other person to be constantly in contact. This also often pushes the other person away from us.
We do not express needs: in a healthy relationship, we need to express the needs, wants and expectations we have to make the partner understand the relationship better. When we expect them to read our minds, it can become harmful for the relationship.
We get physically intimate quickly: In anxious attachment, people want it all too fast. Hence, we may get physically intimate very quickly in the relationship in order to turn it into love.
We expect exclusivity from the start: being exclusive takes time after a lot of things are clarified. But when we expect exclusivity in the relationship right from the start, it can scare the ther person and drive them away from us.
We do not see the red flags: We do not ask the right questions. We get invested into turning it into love so much that we forget to ask the questions that are needed for us to know if the person is healthy and safe for us.
We overshare: A relationship is a slow process. When we overshare intimate details of our life and our emotions too quickly with the other person, it can make us feel like safe intimacy, but in reality, it is not.
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