A relationship demands a lot of understanding, trust and loyalty, communication forms one of the foundation blocks of a healthy and safe relationship. However, in a lot of cases, relationships can turn unhealthy over time when we set unrealistic expectations about the partner. “Our choice of partners often reflects the relationships we have with ourselves and our parents. If these relationships harbor unhealthy patterns, it’s likely that our romantic partnerships will follow suit. This gravitational pull towards familiarity leads us to select partners who unconsciously allow us to reenact these patterns. However, there is hope that these relationships can become a catalyst for healing and growth as we navigate and master these dynamics.,” wrote Therapist Jordan Green.
Here are a few common pitfalls that can make a relationship suffer:
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Thinking our partner will change: We often set unrealistic expectations of the partner making changes in their behavioural patterns to suit our needs and expectations. When this does not happen, we can end up feeling dissatisfied and unhappy.
Ignoring connection: A healthy relationship should have a safe space for deeper connections. However, when we ignore or dismiss the bids for connection from the partner, the relationship becomes more superficial and can hurt us.
Expecting the partner to read our minds: If we have any need or expectation, we should be vocal about it. Having honest and clear communication creates more transparency in the relationship. Expecting the partner to read our minds and know what we want is just unrealistic.
Hanging onto the past: Holding onto situations of the past, mistakes of the past and bringing them every time into the present can affect the present and ruin the relationship.
Expecting the partner to make us happy: While a relationship and the partner should make us feel happy, solely relying on them for our own happiness is an unhappy way of looking at life. We are responsible for our own happiness, and we should ensure to do everything that can make us feel joy and peace.
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