Sometimes a relationship may feel draining and frustrating. That can happen due to a lot of fights or misunderstandings or a change in perspective. However, when a relationship starts to demand a lot of energy from our end, it is necessary to re-evaluate the boundaries we have to understand the larger picture. “When you have identified a relationship is requiring too much of your emotional energy or resources, you need to assess what boundaries should be put into place to make the relationship more functional for both persons. Remember, boundaries are meant to preserve and support relationships- whether that’s romantic, familial, professional, or friendships,” wrote Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders.
Sometimes the existing boundaries may not be enough, and we may need to set additional boundaries – “Additional boundaries may be needed around showing up unannounced at your home, calling you while you’re at work, etc. Your limits should be set around your what your needs are,” Emily further added. Here are a few examples of boundaries that can be set around draining relationships.
ALSO READ: Setting boundaries in relationships: How to protect your needs and priorities
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Limiting phone calls: Sometimes prolonged phone calls can lead to conversations that are uncomfortable. It is best to set a time limit for the phone calls and have the conversation in a crisp and short manner.
Not responding after a deadline: Certain communication such as work emails or phone calls should have time to respond to. We should refrain from responding to them after a time limit. We should set that time apart for the partner.
Financial support: When we offer financial resources and support to the partner, we should ensure that our bills and needs have also been taken care of.
Listening: Instead of being an advisor right away for the partner, we should sit back and be a good listener first. Sometimes, they need someone to listen to, more than advice.
Spending time apart: When things start to get rough, it is okay to take a break and decline to get together for some time. The time spent apart can help us get some clarity about the relationship.
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