Is your partner in distress? Here’s what you can do

3 min read

A relationship requires partners who can comfort each other through every situation. Be it a conflict within themselves or an event outside their relationship, a good and healthy partner can comfort the other person and help them regulate themselves to feel better. “Partners who are able to comfort each other during distress over events outside of their relationship are statistically better able to manage conflict which does involve their relationship. Learning to be a comforting shoulder to cry on can help you, your partner, and your relationship thrive,” wrote Relationship Expert Julie Menanno. Here are a few ways by which we can help soothe the partner when they are feeling distressed:

Is your partner in distress? Here’s what you can do(Unsplash)

ALSO READ: How to learn to tolerate discomfort to be secure in relationships?

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Regulate ourselves: one of the most primary things we can do when we see our partner in distress is regulate our own emotions. We should be in a place of calm and composure to deal with the vulnerability of the other person.

Touch: Safe touch can change the environment of another person from feeling triggered to feeling safe. Sometimes even simply holding the hand of the partner or giving them a gentle hug can make them feel that they are in a safe space.

Make space: We should allow the partner to express themselves without trying to seek solutions right away. We should be good listeners and give them the space to talk it out.

Ask how you can help: one of the mistakes we make in such situations is by directly jumping to seek solutions for the problems. Sometimes the right way is to ask the partner how they want to be helped, and then explore that path.

Validate: We should be able to validate the emotions and feelings of the partner without being judgmental about it. Sometimes a validation can go a long way.

Avoid shame spiraling: Sometimes we may feel that we have something to do with the way the partner is feeling. Hence, we go into the spiral of being defensive or apologising constantly. That can harm the situation.

Don’t jump to solve problems: We should use the time to understand how the partner is feeling, instead of right away jumping to solve the problems.

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