The Brunch round-up: The week and how it made us feel

Upvoting again. For years, we’ve judged stories of bad behaviour on Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A-hole?) section. Who knew it would help us screen our dates too? People are now jointly reading the confessionals to see how the other reacts. Our hack: Most confessors are A-holes. If you side with too many of them, time to introspect.

Coming to class. They say you can’t teach love. “Challenge accepted,” said Delhi University. Their UG Psychology course, Navigating Intimate Relationships, rolls out this year. Students can learn how to recognise ghosting, red-flags and heavy emotional baggage. Don’t fail. Imagine the whole college knowing you can’t even handle a love lesson!

Out of the race. Of course, commiserate with Simone Ashley. Her storyline in the Brad Pitt sports drama, F1, has been cut out of the film. She has a smaller role – no lines. Boo. But don’t feel too sorry. She’s gorgeous, talented, funny and very of-the-moment. She’ll land a killer role soon.

Logging off. Dating was already a dumpster fire, then Dries Depoorter had to go launch a dating app that matches people based on their browser history. OK look, most of us are Googling “foot fungus” at 2am and stalking our frenemies from Class 8. We’d rather stay single than make that stuff public. Wait, does this mean Incognito mode is a blind date?

Playing it right. Whom would you save in an emergency? In Morocco, a kid caught in an earthquake ran out of the house, barefoot, shirtless and clutching his beloved PS5. We love a loyal gamer. If you don’t have family or pets to save, by all means, grab the console! We’d take the air-fryer. Only because we paid too much for it.

On a Crazy Train. Thought Sydney Sweeney’s bathwater soap was wild? Rocker Ozzy Osbourne, 76, just teamed up with Liquid Death to drop $450 iced tea cans, infused with his DNA. He drank from 10 cans before sealing them, declaring, “Clone me, you b**tards!” Stay unhinged, Ozzy. They don’t make rock gods like they used to.

Cruising past. PlayStation’s Titanic: Escape Simulator does exactly what it says in the title. Players get to test their ability to survive the sinking of the iconic ship in 1912. You know why? Because the Titanic story isn’t geared for movie sequels. This is what happens to plots when 1,500 people die in the first movie. Dank but true.